Paul Simon released a song in 1972 that captured the hearts of many listeners and jumped to the top of the Billboard charts. Over the years the meaning behind the lyrics has been the topic of conversation after conversation. Regardless of the circumstances that inspired Simon to pen this popular tune, I suggest the true meaning lies in the heart and mind of each individual subject to its spell.
No I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
I have been reflecting on my mother’s life during the past few weeks. My mother, Anna Lawana Meacham Miles, passed from this life on February 19, 2011. While that date coincides with my sister Lana’s birthday, I see no coincidence in mother’s death falling on that date. Her death was a gift, her final earthly gift to my sister. I choose to believe that mother’s death effectively gifted life back to Lana. Lana’s devotion to mother in a caretaker’s role during the last seven years restricted her social being. And for those who know Lana, you are well aware of her fun loving, free spirited, friendly approach to life in our social world. As diminished as mother’s mental vitality had become in her struggle with Alzheimer’s, I’m confident she was aware of the different world into which she had gradually moved. It was a place where she did not wish to reside. So she began knocking on Heaven’s door...even pounding at times. Her knocking was persistent and determined. Amidst the noise, God’s doorkeeper finally answered her knock…Reunion!
February 19 was an appropriate day, perhaps a “strange” day, for a “mother and child reunion.” And, yes, it was a “mournful day” for those who knew and loved Mother. Let me share a bit about my mother...
Anna Lawana Meacham Miles was the eighth of fourteen children born to Rossie Belle Rodgers Meacham and Charles Monroe Meacham. Three of her older brothers had died as toddlers sometime after the influenza pandemic of 1918-1920. At the time of her birth on November 25, 1927, Lawana had two older brothers and two older sisters living in the household. The family resided in Cave City, Arkansas; however, mother was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma where her father was working a job as a steeplejack. Her name, Lawana, honored a Cherokee mid-wife who assisted with her birth. The Meachams returned to Cave City shortly after mother's arrival. She was the only one of the fourteen Meacham children born outside Arkansas. Now I want to say that some of my ‘facts’ may not be facts at all. I only know some of what I know through the tales of others passed along as folklore.
The Meacham family was Independence County pioneers who had settled in Arkansas territory prior to statehood. They were a determined and loyal lot with my mother seemingly hardwired with these qualities. About the time mother was seven years of age, the family moved to Mississippi County, Arkansas near the small town of Manila. If you have read John Grisham’s novel, “A Painted House,” you can clearly envision the lifestyle of mother’s family in post-Depression northeast Arkansas. Like many others born of this era, mother recognized that a good education could be her ticket to a ‘better life.’ She would be the first in her family to finish high school, but that diploma was not easily earned. Choppin' and pickin' cotton took precedent over school days at times. But she was determined. Lawana Meacham graduated from Manila High School in 1948. She was twenty years old. Interestingly, among the small number of her fellow graduates at Manila was Neal Webster, the father of my Newport High School classmate, Doug Webster.
With high school diploma in hand, she purchased a bus ticket to Newport, Arkansas, where she moved in with her aunt and uncle, Ann Meacham Gray and Dr. Cyrus R. Gray. She started work at Dr. Gray’s Hospital (now Harris Hospital) as a receptionist with designs set on becoming a lab technician. Her ambitions were detoured when she met Vernon “Little Red” Miles, eight years her senior, on a blind double date at the coffee shop in the old Hazel Hotel next door to the hospital. At that initial meeting they did not have a date with each other, but were respectively paired with the other two individuals in the foursome. A phone call following that first meeting led to a formal date…Reunion.
Lawana Meacham and “Little Red” Miles were married on Sunday, May 14, 1950, in the chapel of the First Methodist Church in Searcy, Arkansas. It was Mother’s Day. This union produced three children. I am the eldest of the three. Dr. Jabez Jackson, Sr. delivered me to my parents' care on April 14, 1952. April 14 has been referred to, by some, as “Ruination Day” in its association with two particularly disastrous events, the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln and the sinking of the Titanic. My father used to greet me annually on my birthday with these words, “Son, on this day, Lincoln met a bullet, the Titanic met an iceberg, and I met you…what a day!” I had two younger sisters. Lana was born February 19, 1954 and Ann Marie was born May 17, 1958.
My mother would know the heartache of losing a child, just as her mother had known that same empty feeling. Mother and child…Reunion. My youngest sister, Ann Marie, was born with spina bifida and died only days old. Ann Marie’s funeral remains a vivid and everlasting memory as I accompanied my father and other family members to a quiet graveside service in Center Hill outside Searcy near my dad’s birthplace. My mother was still in the hospital in Newport at Ann Marie’s burial. Mother and child…Separation in body, but always united in spirit. With Mother's every thought of her child...Reunion.
Upon their marriage, my parents moved into a small apartment at 412 Hazel Street in Newport, just two blocks down the street from where mother worked at the hospital and two blocks from one of two service stations my dad managed at the time. These two service stations were a Lion Station located at the corner of Third and Laurel Streets and a Citi Service Station located at the corner of Third and Beech Streets. Mother attended church at First Methodist directly across Third Street from the Lion Station managed by my father. Family, church, and work were neatly bundled up in four square blocks. School would be folded into that neat little bundle of existence when I started first grade at the Walnut Street School with 412 Hazel being just a half block up Fifth Street from the school.
Toward the end of my first grade year in the spring of 1959, we moved from 412 Hazel to 1100 South Main Street in Newport. The first thing I recall Mother doing at the new house was her planting a redbud tree in memory of Ann Marie in the front yard, appropriate I think being as Ann Marie was a redhead. That tree represents a “mother and child reunion” and it flourishes today. Mother would reside at 1100 South Main until moving to Las Vegas to live with my sister, Lana, in the fall of 2003.
Mother had a strong work ethic. She immersed herself in the activities of her children. She took on volunteer leadership positions in the PTA as well as Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. I read recently that the most influential person in the achievement of Eagle Scout recognition is the scout's mother. I am a testament to that statement. Mother actually went on a camping excursion with our troop as the cooking merit badge counselor to assure that all seeking that merit badge successfully completed the requirements. I must admit that 'earning' a cooking merit badge does not translate into being a good cook. That I am not. But mother warranted me worthy of a passing grade and rewarded me with a merit badge of accomplishment.
Mother was diligent in her volunteer duties with the Newport Service League, Beta Sigma Phi, the Jackson County Historical Society, Portfest, and her church, especially her church. Similar to many other working mothers, she crammed her various volunteer activities into and around her jobs. Despite the inference, mother was not an “all work, no play” person. She genuinely had fun in every endeavor she pursued. Even when the work was of serious nature, she could find joy in its midst. She found personal satisfaction as president of the Newport Service League leading the organization in pursuit of its mission to provide support services for children less privileged. To fund its initiatives, the Service League sponsored the annual Follies, a fun-filled 'vaudeville' show displaying the talent of many Jackson County citizens. I can 'see' her practicing the 'Can-Can' as a member of the Follies' chorus line one year. She loved it!
While it may not have been her first choice for career path, Mother thrived in the retail environment. She had done well in her Home Economics courses in high school and had become a very good seamstress, which may have sparked her interest in fashion. I believe her first retail sales job was at Kent's Dress Shop located on Front Street in Newport and owned by her good friend, Jane Kent. It is likely she took on this job as an avenue to discounts on apparel rather than for a paycheck. Mother was most always 'dressed to the nines.' Her signature appearance was a snappy, tailored look with just the right accessories to capture attention. Her collection of shoes would have rivaled that of Imelda Marcos. While she favored a tailored style, I don't think her personal preference influenced her suggestions to her customers. She was keenly aware of the appropriate attire for any and every occasion. She was a first class salesperson.
Sometime after Jane Kent moved to the gulf coast of southern Mississippi in the mid '60s, Mother went to work at the Eva Graham Shoppe. Later she would work for B & B Ltd., High Strung, Van-Atkins, Ima's, and the Gizmo Shop. Her forty plus years in sales were complimented by a side business of her own.
Mother did business as a wedding and event planner under the most appropriate name of Lawana's Touch. She had a knack for personalizing each reception, but you knew immediately if Lawana had 'touched' it. The hand written notes she left behind offer strong evidence that her planning process was meticulous and her attention to detail sharp. And she possessed tireless energy from the initial visit with a prospective bride to the last dance at the reception. Mother’s creative flair was magical. Her ‘hands on’ approach to the finished setting often astonished me. Seeing her sew tiny dresses for dolls that adorned reception tables to replicate the wedding party intrigued me. Watching her carefully iron table cloths with perfect creases made me tired. She was her own taskmaster.
I have no idea the number of weddings Mother oversaw throughout the years she was in business. But I do know that the 'touch' she brought to the many wedding receptions, rehearsal dinners, church socials, and community events was genuinely appreciated by the participants from the numerous thank you notes, cards, and letters I have uncovered in going through personal belongings in recent weeks.
I can't for the life of me
Remember a sadder day
I know they say let it be
But it just don't work out that way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again
In addition to her work a day world, Lawana Miles was a devoted daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, and friend to many. She was loyal to her family and 'worked' to gather them together at annual reunions for many years from the '50s through the mid '80s when my generation of cousins scattered well beyond the boundaries of Arkansas making such gatherings more difficult. Mother 'worked' equally as hard to include Lana's and my friends in every aspect of family. She looked upon our friends as her own and treated them as such. Family and friends were synonymous in our house.
The relationships with family and friends are, indeed, “the course of a lifetime.” Fathers are often looked upon as 'captains of the ship,' but mothers are the navigators. Mothers set the 'course' for most of us and provide guidance as we maneuver the peaks and valleys of the lifetime. Even though it is the natural order of things for a parent to walk off the end of life's pathway ahead of the child, it is heart wrenching to lose sight of them. In those instances when it is the child who runs out of sight of the parent on life’s winding road, it is heart breaking. To “let it be” runs contrary to the ways of the heart. Yet there is a smile among the tears in believing that Mother is in 'reunion' with loved ones who have passed on before her...her husband, her mother, her daughter...in the latter two instances, Mother and Child...Reunion.
Mentioning ‘reunion’ with my father, reminds me of my parents’ relationship. Mother was advised by her uncle, Dr. C. R. Gray, not to marry my dad. The advice was offered due to a congenital heart defect my father had that pointed toward a very short life expectancy. Mother listened, but set her own course. After a stay at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore in early 1958, my dad returned home with news that the medical staff was of opinion he only had months to live. Mother, with two young children at her side and pregnant with a third, experienced a fragile moment, but proved resilient in the long term. I recall my dad often saying, “I’m not going to die simply because a doctor tells me so.” He lived another 25 years after that verdict at Johns Hopkins. There were challenges with my father’s health throughout my parents 33 years of marriage and Mother proved a steadfast caretaker. I am so very grateful to my sister, Lana, for returning that favor to my mom in her time of need.
I just can't believe it's so
And though it seems strange to say
I never been laid so low
In such a mysterious way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again
“Over and over again,” generation after generation, mothers set “the course of a lifetime.” Their eyes are trained upon a place “over the rainbow” where the “dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.” Just as “The Wizard of Oz” magically changes from a black and white film into glorious Technicolor, a mother’s dream bursts into the colors of the rainbow when faith, hope, and love collide. Isn’t it ironic that for the rainbow to come into full view, both sunshine and rain are required…smiles and tears. Faith, hope, and love are the key ingredients of a ‘mother and child reunion.’
In setting life’s course, a mother's 'true north' is hope. Hope that her children will know happiness and meet success on life's crooked pathway. Most know from their own experiences that there is no straight path to happiness and success. But most mothers are determined, and hopeful, in establishing that 'straight path,' knowing full well that the curious child is likely to stray. In the end, each generation cuts its own path. Mother certainly made her own way.
“No I would not give you false hope” must be a thought in every mother's mind as she dreams of the future for her children. Even in death I’m sure my mother is clinging to high hopes for Lana, her grandchildren, great grandchildren, and me. She was our biggest fan. Her style, simple yet elegant, will always grace my memory. Her radiant smile will forever illumine my heart.
Oh the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away
A memorial service in honor and celebration of Mother’s life will be held on Monday, April 18, 2011 in the sanctuary of her beloved First United Methodist Church in Newport, Arkansas. The service (open to all) will begin at 1:00pm with a visitation immediately following in Fellowship Hall at the church. This event will mark Lawana’s final ‘party’ here on Earth. A reunion of her family and friends “is only a moment away.” All who ever knew her ‘touch’ is encouraged to be present. The redbuds and dogwoods are in full flower. “Hope springs eternal.”
Thank you, Mother, for pointing me in a good direction and allowing me to set my own course. You have always been my guiding light…even when I’m Miles from Nowhere.
May magical moments come your way. I wish you love and laughter…lots and lots of laughter!
joe
