Where to begin? The last time I pulled out the keyboard to "talk" with you it was October. The 35th Reunion of the Newport High School Class of 1970 was fresh on my mind as was the recent wedding of my daughter Evelyn and the death of my mother's brother Tom Meacham. A rather short one hundred days have passed since then, but it seems much longer ago. The passage of time is difficult for me to grasp. While time ticks away at the same methodical pace, its movement seems to vary. Events along the time line are sometimes remembered as being compressed in a tiny frame and at other times recalled with great space between them. What gives? Where am I going with this? My thoughts about this curious issue are totally irrelevant since time will continue with its monotonous routine and I will lose track of it occasionally. But has it been just more than a hundred days since I last sat here with you combining thoughts of the past and present? Has it really been twenty years since the space shuttle "Challenger" disintegrated seconds after lift off claiming the lives of seven dedicated astronauts? Can you believe it has been thirty-five years since we graduated from Newport High School and casually strolled from its intimate setting in Remmel Park? Have I been lost that long?
About a decade ago I saw a movie entitled "Four Weddings and a Funeral." I recall it being a romantic comedy with the capacity to generate both laughter and tears, but little else about the plot and players. What else would one expect from a movie centered around weddings and funerals? The title of this movie has popped into my head several times over the past few months because of the goings on in my personal existence. I will clue you in on the many reasons this movie title has haunted me of late in a little bit. Just know that I have been chasing my tail like a young Pup since our last jaunt down Memory Lane. Weddings and funerals are family affairs and celebrations of life spiced up with the comforting support of friends. And these life events are wonderful fodder for memories to be conjured up in future days. Weddings, funerals, birthdays, illness . . . "Ain't it good to know you've got a friend." Could it be that thirty-five years have passed since I purchased Carole King's Tapestry album and heard her poetic lyrics for the first time?
When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothin', nothin' is goin' right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
Troubled times are not the only times one calls out to or thinks of a friend, but friendships get tested more often in such times. To pass the friendship test one does not have to literally show up or "be there" each time something goes wrong (or something goes right) or each time you are feeling "down" (or when you are on a high). Phone calls, cards or letters (the old fashioned hand written kind), prayerful thought are equal to physical presence when you are separated by time and distance. Friends recognize when they are needed. I've never known a friend to fail "the test."
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin' to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend
I deeply appreciate the personal friendship I share with many of you. To those of you I have yet to meet face to face, we share common bonds that lead to friendship or we would not be in this conversation. Simply put we have not yet experienced that awkward stage of getting acquainted, but we have established good groundwork from which genuine friendships are cultivated. Some of the most reliable respondents to the Miles' Files are "friends" I have never met. Thanks! Well, I seem to have left the path I was on. Oh yeah, weddings and funerals and the like.
In the past eight months three of my four daughters have married. Each marriage has been unique and befitting the personalities of these beautiful girls. Evelyn married Nick Wade in a fairly casual outdoor setting at Eden Isle on June 11 with bluegrass music at the reception and her godfather Keith Croft singing very special music at the ceremony (mentioned in a previous Miles' Files). Emily married Josh Richardson in a traditional church wedding at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Little Rock on December 30. A jazz ensemble provided music at the reception for the traditional first dance. My stepdaughter Lynli married Tony Carlin in an intimate family gathering on January 14 at Thorncrown Chapel in Eureka Springs. Classical music set the tone for Lynli's wedding. While the soundtracks of these three weddings were as varied as bluegrass, jazz and classical, love and laughter was the central theme at each of these distinctive celebrations. I was touched by the presence of steadfast friends on each wedding day. Only youngest daughter Elizabeth is now unmarried. She just recently completed her first semester at UALR and was initiated into Chi Omega sorority like her sisters before her. Fun and games! Frolic!
Over the same time frame funerals have run amuck. Within the family my mother's carefree and fun loving sister, Rhodell Meacham Bunch, passed from this life last month leaving three of the fourteen Meacham kids of my mother's generation amongst the living (my mother and her two youngest sisters, Laura and Pat). Aunt Rhodie visited us often in Newport when I was a toddler. She used to pull me down Hazel Street in a cardboard box (Aunt Rhodie called it a "pasteboard" box) with a handle made of twine until the bottom of the box wasted away from the dragging over concrete sidewalks and barren yards. Just two short weeks after Aunt Rhodie's death, my Aunt Laura's husband Billy Joe Hutton passed away. I remember my uncle as a gentleman farmer with a dry wit, but what else would one expect from a man who was the father of four sons whose cousins referred to them as the forty fingers of destruction. All in our family will dearly miss Aunt Rhodie and Uncle Billy Joe and we will remember them often with laughter in our hearts.
If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that ol' north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door
Friends have lost loved ones as well since the last time we shared some thoughts. Mrs. Irene Artymowski, French teacher extraordinaire at Newport High School and mother of classmates Kristine and John left this life just weeks ago. I will forever remember her presence in the hallways of NHS. Her spirit could be seen in her gorgeous smile and her iridescent eyes. Au revoir Mrs. Artymowski. I am also aware that classmate Doug Webster's father Neal passed away recently. As an interesting coincidence, Mr. Webster and my mother graduated from high school together in a very small class at Manila, Arkansas in the late '40s just as Doug and I finished our high school experience together at Newport in 1970. The intermingling of paths on life's journey is an interesting puzzle.
Just a few weeks ago long time friend Junior Baker (NHS Class of '66) dropped by the bank for a visit. Junior worked many years for the railroad and lived in Mountain Home. He is moving back to Newport where he has a strong network of friends following the November death of his wife Barbara. Junior and I shared many memories during our conversation. Recollections of Greyhound football, American Legion baseball, cruisin' Malcolm Avenue and the dairy bars, mischievous adventures, friendships past and present, and Junior's favored Righteous Brothers tunes bounced off the walls as we chattered. Moments such as this shared with a good friend is what I cherish most. It is very apparent that Barbara's death has been a heart breaking experience for Junior, but it is equally apparent that he has a strong faith and sweet spirit. Thank you for taking time to stop by for a visit, Junior. We must do it again.
Another Newport (actually Jacksonport) boy who spent many years with the railroad is Phillip Strickland (NHS Class of '68). Just a few short days ago the obituary page slammed me with the news of Phillip's death at the age of 57. Phillip and I became friends when I was a sophomore in high school and he a senior. He had a tough reputation and a gentle soul. I last saw Phillip when I was in Newport for the Class of '70's 35th reunion this past summer. We shared some laughs just as we did many times when we were teenagers. I will sorely miss my occasional impromptu visits with Phillip. Each time I hear a train whistle in the distance I will think of him.
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin' to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
Darkness seems to creep into the heart when Death knocks on the door especially when a loved one chooses to extinguish his own life. Two of my dearest friends have had to endure such a happening in recent weeks. Mike Elliott, fraternity brother and friend from my college days at ASU, lost his youngest brother John in this fashion just before Christmas. Mike has a Newport connection in that he was formerly married to Leanne Bennett (NHS Class of '72). Then a couple of weeks later good friend Ronny Clay learned his 35 year old son Peter had chosen death over life. Ronny and Peter shared a passion for baseball which reminds me of the relationship I had with my father. The unanswered question "Why" lingers in the air for those of us still wandering through the maze of life. I'm comfortable that John and Peter have the answers. I pray the love of family and friends comforts Mike and Ronny and other members of their families.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them
I also want to lift up in prayer friend Bob Gray (NHS Class of '69). Bob has been recently diagnosed with large cell lung cancer. His prognosis has few if any encouraging words. I must say that I am encouraged by Bob's attitude and his enthusiastic approach to life. As you may recall, Bob produced the fun CD "Bridges Back" for the NHS Class of '70's 35th reunion highlighting present day scenes of Newport attaching them to times past through a soundtrack from the late '60s. Great work! Great person! I ask that you hold Bob and his family close in thought and prayer as he battles this illness.
So "Four Weddings and a Funeral" continues to pop into my mind as result of all that is going on around me but realities of everyday living in recent months suggests a more appropriate title like "three weddings and a bunch of funerals." With respect to life celebrations, the movie title doesn't mention birthdays; however I think a couple of birthdays to be noteworthy. Kathryn and I were thrilled to attend the 100th birthday celebration for wonderful friend Margaret Van Dyke hosted by Pat and Judy Sanders at the Iron Mountain Depot in Newport on December 2, 2005. Margaret's 100th was on November 29. Those in attendance comprised a Who's Who list of Newport citizens. Sam Boyce, Betsy Watson, Kaneaster Hodges and Dr. Jabez Jackson, Jr. presented tributes to Margaret. And Margaret captured the crowd by singing her song "The Stately Town of Newport" to the delight of all present. It was a fantastic evening. Each lady left the party with a rose made available by Margaret's long time and most thoughtful friend Irene Artymowski.
Another birthday I wish to make note of is that of my sister Lana (NHS Class of '72) who will attempt to blow out 52 candles today, February 19, somewhere in the desert land of Las Vegas. I'm confident that she and my mother will find some fun. There was mention of a Neil Sedaka concert. Can he still be alive? I suppose it most appropriate for a "young" girl to go see Neil Sedaka on her birthday. After all he did write "Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen." Can my younger sister really be 52? I think my watch has stopped.
As you are aware, I have deep appreciation for the timeless contributions of songwriters and musicians. It is necessary to remember some who brought me listening pleasure in years past. My collection of aging vinyl record albums contains several featuring both Lou Rawls and Wilson Pickett. Both have recently passed from this life and both deserve a rousing ovation in tribute to their music. Has it really been 35 years since we danced to Pickett's "Midnight Hour" at the Legion Hut? Has it really been more than 35 years since the mesmerizing voices of Otis Redding (1967), Jimi Hendrix (1970), Janis Joplin (1970) and Jim Morrison (1971) were put to rest? I'm shaking my watch, but nothing seems to be happening.
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin' to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend
Music is the ribbon that ties my life together. Carole King's "You've Got A Friend" is one of those songs that neatly wraps up my value system into a tiny package adorned with bright ribbon. Her lyrics help limit life's pains by reminding me that my friendships provide comfort whenever needed. These words allow me to enjoy life's triumphs and happy moments knowing friends will "be there" to share such moments with me with a simple call. "Ain't it good to know . . . you've got a friend."
Carole King's album Tapestry won the 1971 Grammy Award as Album of the Year. She also won a Grammy for Song of the Year in 1971 with "You've Got a Friend" as it was performed by James Taylor who won as Best Male Pop Vocalist with the same song. Has it really been 35 years since I first listened to this music? Fast forward to 2006 and the recent Grammy Award presentations. I do this to reflect on the timeless impact of talented musicians and the memories that can be conjured up from a personalized soundtrack. In 2006 the Grammy Award nominations for Best Solo Rock Vocal went to Eric Clapton, Bruce Springsteen, Robert Plant, Neil Young and Rob Thomas. Only Rob Thomas of Match Box Twenty is of recent vintage. Clapton and Young are 60, Plant is 57 and Springsteen 56. All four were playing music in the late '60s, music of our times, music of all times. I think I will wind down my rambling thoughts by reaching into the present with the closing lyrics from Neil Young's "The Painter" (his 2006 Grammy nominated song) . . .
I keep my friends eternally
We leave our tracks in the sound
Some of them are with me now
Some of them can't be found
It's a long road behind me
And I miss you now
If you follow every dream
You might get lost
If you follow every dream
You might get lost
I like these words. My tracks can definitely be traced in the sounds of yesterday and today. My emotions are sharpened by the music of my personal soundtrack. Today it is one that includes Carole King's "You've Got a Friend," Keith Croft's version of "Butterfly Kisses" (sung at Evelyn's wedding), the Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody" (for Junior Baker), Margaret Van Dyke's "The Stately Town of Newport," Neil Sedaka's "Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen," Wilson Pickett's "Midnight Hour," and Neil Young's "The Painter." Tomorrow I will listen to a different soundtrack, one that will bring me different memories shrouded by my friendships. "Ain't it good to know!" The road behind me is growing rather lengthy. I do realize that it is a relative thing and for some the distance to the past is quite a bit farther. Thoughts of time are somewhat goofy at best. I never know when it is going to fly by or when it will seem to drag on and on. Whether you think you have too much or too little time, in the end there is never enough. It is best spent in the company of friends. It is good to know my friendships are eternal. I offer cheers and love to those friends who are "with me now" and to those who "can't be found."
Looking to the future is a matter of chasing dreams. Dreams are critically important to the spirit of young and old alike. I am confident that my daughters and sons-in-law have dreams aplenty as newly married couples. As they should. And so what if you get lost along the path of dreams. Dreams are destinations, not detours. There are many routes to a dream fulfilled. Should you lose your way, don't despair. Just call out the name of a friend and he or she will help you return to the best route toward that dream. A couple of weeks back Kathryn and I were in Kauai, Hawaii at a banking conference where we heard Jim Morris speak. Jim's life was depicted in the movie "The Rookie" where his dream to play major league baseball was deterred by injury. Having taken a detour from that dream to pursue coaching and raise a family, he was challenged by his team of high school athletes to try to make a major league roster if the team met its goal of winning a district championship. Well, you know the rest of the story. Challenge accepted, dream realized. Morris did get lost for a while on his way to a dream, but he eventually found his way to it. On the subject of unfulfilled dreams, call up a friend and discuss them. Friends are experts in issuing challenges. The rest of the trip is up to you. On a side note, yesterday I received a message from Carolyn and Buddy Jones (NHS Classes of '65 and '64) with a wonderful newspaper article about their son Lee and his successes. Most of you know Lee has Down's Syndrome, that he is a college graduate and that he is living his dream. The message from Carolyn and Buddy came to me from Kauai, Hawaii where they are vacationing. Kathryn and I were within a stone's throw from them on the island for a week earlier this month and didn't know it. Ain't life a puzzle? It is one that may never be solved. We can only put it together one piece at a time. Each puzzle piece is a friend. "Ain't it good to know you've got a friend."
Forever your friend, I'm Miles from Nowhere . . . guess I'll take my time!
joe
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